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my puppy is staring at me, my head phones are on, and i'm super awake o.O

today i missed a meeting i was supposed to go to,
cause i took my sleeping medication and it knocked me out until 4pm!
i was completely disoriented for a few hours after too.
at least i managed to do some cleaning, and download some moar music.

i totally took over my brothers'

 the smokey smell of autumn // winter air and the taste of marlboro 27's..
as disgusting as it may sound to most people,
it's extremely intriguing to me.

my mama is absolutely fabulous and is buying me an iPhone on sunday!
i think i'm gonna get the 32GB in White.
i love(d) my blackberry, but it's been pissing me off lately,
and i need a new phone

hai gods girls, i'm still alive!1
is anyone still here from when i was around!?
well, a lot has changed in my life &
i honestly don't remember the last time i've posted an entry, ugh.
i don't really get on the computer much anymore, either v____v
i AM glued to my blackberry 24/7 though, heh ;)
so you should probably get @ me:
on AIM [ohluxe //or// chase

so, i forgot my password for the longest time, and every time i tried to remember it, i got it wrong and it wouldn't let me log in again, but i finally remembered it today! :D heh.

hm, what's new.... well, for one i cut about five inches of my hair off, and dyed it to a 6K, which is like reddish brown! i absolutely love it, and will have to get a

 i swear school has completely taken over my life!
i hardly get a day to relax, sleep late, and do nothing. which is what i did today, heh.
since i'm at my boyfriends place, and he's at work right now :(

other things that occupy my time lately:
buffalo wild wings (honey bbq boneless), five guys burgers and fries,
hanging out @ the terrace house,

i don't know what's right and what's real anymore
and i don't know how i'm meant to feel anymore
when do you think it will all become clear?


ps. i changed my number, so message me if you want it ;)
 

AH my life is so busy/hectic now that i've started cosmetology school.
and my blackberry is currently on hiatus awaiting a new charger,
because i have the worst luck with phones lately.
i feel so completely disconnected from everyone!
i haven't seen any of my friends this week :(
i don't remember school being this exhausting!
well, i guess it wasn't

so monday night i went to the bar with my friends bri, kevin & christopher.
everyone kept buying me drinks, so i just kept drinking them x___x
my friend eric was bartending and he made this really good shot.
he named it the "thin mint." it was creme to menthe & vodka.
it seriously tasted exactly like a thin mint girl scout cookie, mmm.
and then i just

i've come to the realization that i am awful at relationships. maybe one day i'll get it right, but for now- i'm better off being by myself. i just make everything complicated, even when all i want is the person i love. i'm good at ruining things and hurting people, it comes as an artform to me. i guess this is my demise, and my burden to carry.

ohhhh mannnn, i haven't posted a journal in a while!11
sometimes i just don't want to be on the computer or the internet,
i just get lazy and use my blackberry instead, sowwieee ;*

so two weekend's ago my best friends dinner went really well,
and my boyfriend, john, even surprised me and showed up!11
he's such a sweet heart sometimes, i love him so