I am sitting in bed with wet hair and cotton panties reviewing my MySpace song history. Procrastination and distraction are some of my finer talents. If you fancy avoiding tedious tasks you might like to kill a few moments by reading on....

Romeo's Distress by Christian Death - My current song. I obviously spent a large portion of my life liberally applying black eyeliner and drinking foul tasting herbal liqueurs and thus can't seem to shake off the desire to wither about and moan.

Playground Love by Air - This is actually somewhat appropriate considering my current insatiable lust for youthful types. I'd act on these whims but I guess that introducing myself to every family in my new neighborhood to tell them that I'm a registered sex offender is going to be a real inconvenience. Fortunately Paul Dano is the same age as me and only looks 17. Good news for corrupt filth such as Julene and myself.

Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs - This is a pretty song and makes me feel really needy for some reason. I figure that if anyone ever wanted to take advantage of me they could perhaps offer me a valium and then crank this number from the stereo as the lull starts to take over. Or they could employ an open fireplace and top shelf vodka... that's been known to work in the past.

Iron Man by Black Sabbath - "LET'S CLIMB SOME FUCKING MOUNTAINS!"

Can I Get Get Get by junior senior - Hi, do you like to dance? So I'm actually in love with JD Samson. The best thing about her is that she looks like an awkward pubescent boy but there's really a full grown woman under that dirty wife beater.

Destroy Everything You Touch by Ladytron - I love Ladytron but can't actually remember why I chose this particular song. However I do remember that I was wearing a bikini and red lipstick at the time. Funny what sticks in the mind.

Plush by Stone Temple Pilots - Why not? Solid.

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths - Recently (read: today) a colleague requested I play something upbeat and I selected The Smiths. I was then informed that only fatties and drama club kids dig that kinda thing. Pass the cake?

Shivers by Boys Next Door - There's this guy called Nick Cave. I dunno if you have heard of him or anything but he makes me want to touch myself and the people surrounding me in the most inappropriate fashion. Please start saving your $1 bills because you'll need to stuff them down my panties when I dance exclusively to selected Birthday Party tracks over at Crazy Girls. Send your friends too.

Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division - I assume I was sulking about something.

Love's Not A Competition by Kaiser Chiefs - I heard this song on the radio and really liked it. For the record I'm really not interested in love right now. Flirtation and mystery bruises, however? I'm all for them.

Anyone Who Had A Heart by Dionne Warwick - Probably only one of the best songs evahhhhh! For my birthday this year I want someone to trawl through Detroit nursing homes and assemble me my very own personal Motown band.

It's Not Over Yet by The Klaxons - This was my profile song for a really long time, not because I couldn't get enough of it but because it reminded me of Melbourne and took a lot of determination to change. On a side note, who else likes that Klaxons music video where they are all naked and wrapped in ribbons and glitter? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.


I totally just killed 20 min that I could have employed to clean the bathroom. Nice!