Belladonna's journals

Let's make you laugh.

1.  the Ramone's tank set was shot before the makeup artist showed up. we couldn't figure out what to shoot, so we chose the closest piece of furniture we could find in the room.....

2.  notice how, in the 'piedini' set, in the first few shots my arm is handcuffed to a bedpost, then the cuff is no longer used. we were bored and at a house with very few ideas. one of the first sets of the day.....also why there are primarily nude shots and less clothing shots.....also the reason i showed off the goods so much. ----> i had no idea what the fuck i was doing.

3.  The set Hustlers was actually shot by CHRISTINE KESSLER, not Matthew Cooke.

4.  In the grill set, i was put on the grill bc annaliese and i thought the idea of being infront of the grill was boring.....let it be known that earlier that day i sliced my finger open (bled) from my pvc body suit,  and my bum was all scratched up from the tree set.....so when you get to the video version, my strategic rubbing of my bum was an attempt to look cute and sexy while massaging the scratches and bbq grill marks off of my poor achy body.

5. when the bathtub set comes out, i fell. Hard. after the grill set. I was bruised like no other for 2 weeks....and caused an actual tidal wave in the bathroom, covering ye olde photographer.

Thanks guys, for the positive feedback on my last journal entry.  My face got all hot and flushed after reading that blog and it transferred over to a journal entry. Lucky you!  The comments actually helped me calm the fuck down.

Also, the painting is beautiful.  I don't care that it's me, it's just well done.  Where are the rest of the girls at?

So I fell onto this thing about the lawsuit between a photographer and said other site. That sucks... I then fell upon a shoot I did w. Apneatic a while back and some woman was all pissy because I used the name "Belladonna." 

So I repeat: I did not know the "real one" ever existed till after I signed the papers for GG and presumed I was stuck with the title....Oops. Sorry kids, I'd never watched porn so I never knew. I'll never detract from her or take any of her business. So go ahead, get mad. I'm so sorry to offend.

Lesson in life: When using a pseudonym, RESEARCH the FUCK out of it first.

So I kinda had a panic attack and decided to check the site to see it's content about me again so I knew what was out there. I completely forgot about any video footage.....whoa. That caused me a near heart attack....kudos to GG for making them super classy.  I started remembering the video footage for one set while viewing the mini videos that I wasn't so happy about almost immeadiately after the fact.  It will probably air itself on this site sooner or later. No nasty touching or anything, just showing off the goods a little more than I should have-----product of being a naieve 20 year old and thinking "Hell, if I'm really gonna do this, I'm gonna go all out and show off all the cookies."


Like I said, kudos to GG for keeping it classy.

So I kind of just picked up and left without an explanation.

First off, let it be known that I still think the girls and staff at GG are real kick-ass people: Smart women and men who are strong enough to put everything out in the open for the general public to ogle, talk to, ridicule and occassionally slander.  As it stands for them, they deserve a lot of credit for starting up a company, working against forces that are trying to stop them (read: other sites) whose politics I have a lot of issues with, and continuing to succeed.

As for myself.  I made a decision to stop modeling that I am happy to have made.  It wasn't because of GG or any of the girls on this site. It was solely my choice.  The girls I worked with are awesome, beautiful people, but this just isn't for me anymore.

Point blank, I just don't want to be found.  I am really happy with my life and where it is going.  I am enjoying keeping my life private now, and focusing on school, which is my number one focus right now.

Because of wanting to be left alone, I won't be answering emails here, really and I won't be updating this very often. 

I hope everyone is doing well, and yes I saw the Where is Belladonna? Post--I'm okay; really quite healthy for a student.  Thanks to everyone for the concern, I should have posted a "Don't worry" note sooner.


xs and os
Belladonna de la Morte

Trying desperately to save my sanity.

One snap at a time.
Life is getting better by the second.

My mind is spinning.

Stoya: as long as i don't chew gum or let anyone stick anything in my ass... my mom says i'm still a lady



Bow down to Stoya.

I have the cure for your ailments. I shall purchase your sandwich.