so ever since ive come to the uk i hate it....i hated living here all my life and i hated coming back...98% of the people i know here are either liars theifs or just so fucking full of themselves that they think they are too cool to talk to you....well guess what you are all pretty much fucking dead to me.

i can count on 1 hand the people in the uk that havent let me down so far

sarah - my best friend since school
emre - he let me stay at his when things were bad and he is one of my best friends
samantha - she is always there whenever
taylor - i havent know her long but she is one of the only people who actually talk to me without me having to start the convo

these 3 people will be the only 3 people i ever come to visit the uk for. apart from family.

and these are the usa peeps i can alwys rely on to cheer me up

ernie
holly
nicole
kaylin


i just hate being here.....to top it off i have a shit job inthe filthyest hospital in the whole world prolly. i work in medical records and beign around sick people everyday makes me wish they were all dead. which isnt nice i know.

matt was supposed to get a job when we got here. and they told him he could get a national insurance number but then 3 weeks later they say he cant he has to get a visa....and fuck knows how long it takes to get one of those... so on my shitty wage i have to feed me and matt afford both our transport and pay bills.....and pay off my debts. its stressing me out.. and im such a control freak that i wont let him cook for me and i come home from work and cok myslef. im pretty much out of the house for 12 hrs a day with work.

im sending in my diy sets on friday (pay day) and im trying to find paid modelling work here in the uk but NOOOOOO fucking photographers only want fucking tfcd......what a waste of my fucking time doing free shoots.
"hi will you take your clothes off for me in return for a cd of pics" NO I FUCKING WONT

i have headaches constantly cos of stress and the fact that i have to figure out these fucking immigration forms for my us residency. im sending these also on friday.

i hate waking up at 6.25am everyday and having to slave away at that sorry excuse for a job i have. i hate the long bus journeys that are only made bearable by my usa friends who say hi.

i got so bored here the other day i went outside in the freezing cold and took a diy in the woods by the river cos i needed to get out the house.

anyway im gonna go to bed....maybe tonight ill sleep before 12 and have more than 6 hrs sleep.

im sorry for ranting.....id have done it on myspace but i fucking hate the whole of myspace knowing my shit...

peace

angel