went to the doctor.  he took a lot of blood.  i have felt so out of it ever since.  my small body doesn't deal with blood loss well.
testing for anemia, diabetes, thyroid disorder, and hormonal/chemical imbalances.  hopefully we figure it out soon.  being like this is keeping me from a lot of things that i would otherwise be doing.  i wonder what it feels like to not be constantly exhausted.  i can't remember the last time i was fully alert.

and i have pmdd.  i'm not sure if i buy into it.  i'm trying a drug for it.  under normal circumstances, i probably wouldn't take any drugs.  it isn't normal, though...and i need something to give.  even just a little bit.  i can't be emotionally disabled for 2 1/2 weeks out of the month.  not anymore.
moving in with someone who isn't a family member has opened my eyes as to how i really am sometimes.  i think my family was used to it, but i also think it wasn't such a problem a couple of years ago.  i'm progressively worse every month.  i have broken a lot of things in my house lately.  i hate myself for that.  i hate being angry all the time.  (but i hate feeling like somehow i'm giving in.  my family will scrutinize me for taking medication for something so ridiculous).