GodsGirl : Adina > journals > reading "Ok maybe I do care a wee bit"
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Thought I was fine not having any close friends. Guess I'm not.
I just saw pictures of my old best friends birthday night in Glasgow, I couldn't go as I couldn't get off work but I don't think she was that bothered anyway as she didn't reply to me when I said I couldn't make it. Anyway in the photos she's having such a good time, which is ace but I just feel this feeling of jealousy and regret, I keep thinking if I hadn't left school we'd still be best friends now, we'd be off to the same uni together most likely and I'd have all my friends from school, we did EVERYTHING together, we were the best of friends, we didn't have a single bad word to say about eachother and couldn't spend an hour without talking to eachother and then she got a boyfriend and I started seeing her less and then I left school and started seeing all my friends less, she got a new best friend while I hadn't made any new friends as I spent all my time with my now ex boyfriend, so while everyone moved on and is doing there own thing, I'm stuck in the exact same spot as I was two years ago, no qualifications, no friends and this time no boyfriend. It's been getting to me more these past few days than ever, especially having a free house for a week and having nobody to invite over.
I hate it, I used to be soooo bloody popular at school, I just got on with absolutly everyone and anyone, I had a fantastic social life, there wasn't enough hours in the day to fit in my plans with friends, now I'm lucky if I get a couple hours with a friend a week and it's so sad. I'm so young!! I'm not a freak, I'm not that bad looking, I'm a happy person most of the time, I'm pretty funny I like to think, I care a lot about people, I don't dress like a tard and I don't judge people so why am I so lonely. I know I'm super shy around people but that's getting better, I can't get my head round why I can't make friends with girls! Whyyyyyyyy?!!!
Ima move to Cardiff soon and get a fresh start. I'll then bribe someone to be my friend. haaaa!! xxxxxx
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Adina
Aww thanks hun. Where in Scotland are you?
You should come see meeee :D xxxx
Misha
I'm just outside of Glasgow in Paisley. Where are yous?
Adina
oooooh im in dundeee :) xxx
Misha
Thats not that far away is it. Are you still moving away from sunny scotland?
Adina
its not far at allll but im moving soon and Wales is very very far away so thats no use :( xx
Bleeker
I know what you mean. A lot of my friends got married or moved away & we kind of grew apart. I still talk to a few but not as much as before. I hang with my my work friends more but not a lot. Hang in there! You're perfectly fine, I' sure you will find friends who see how wonderful you are =)
AstorNYC
"I'm not that bad looking." Stop that. You're beautiful.
Don't be so hard on yourself, Adina. It's a sad fact of life that you will grow apart from many of the people you meet and become friends with. People meet people at work, first instance, and become great friends. Once they're no longer working together, they grow apart. Same thing when people meet at school or anywhere else. And then people get married and have families and then that becomes the single most important thing in life.
You will make many friends over the course of your life. Please don't worry about that.
Enjoy your fresh start in Cardiff. Maybe you should think about going back to school part-time or taking some courses for a certification. It sounds like maybe you have some regrets about leaving school. Plus you'd meet lots of new people in class.
Take good care.
milkman10169
i don't think it will come to bribes. friends tend to be cyclical. at least in my life. they come and go. sometimes more, sometimes less. it will come back around. it always does. :-)
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I know how you feel luv. I'm so used to have my big circle of friends around me...the support. Ever since I've moved to Scotland I have one person I consider a friend and I rarely see her now she has a new gf. I never had problems making friends but I'm having a HUGE problem in Scotland. I think I just got bad at meeting people the older I got.
Wish I had some advice for you but if you figure it all out let me in on the secret please.