I made some fried rice with chicken, onion, pineapple and egg. I did it while wearing camo pants and a wifebeater.

Decided I cook better when I wear comfy pants. My job should embrace this, but it doesnt.
I don't understand why the fuck whatever marketing dudes in... where ever, try to push that Hard Lemonade thing at guys. Thats the least fuckin manly drink I ever seen in my days. "Someone's gotta be hard". Right. Thats the booze you bring to a party to pick up on chicks who giggle when you talk to them. "Oh, you don' gotta drink all that straight liquor, have one of these, its like a soda, come sit on my lap. Suck my cock, sweetheart, will ya?" 's some bullshit. Sip that shit with an umbrella an a thumb up yer ass.

Gin tastes like pine trees. I don' mind that so much.

Those coffee energy drink things, what the hell is this? They got ones now thats complete false advertising. It just says "White Russian" on the can, got pictures of the commie country and shit on it. I figure its got booze in it, it don't. Just made to taste like it does. FUCKING WASTE OF TIME. Thats like that O'Douls or whatever, why fuckin bother. Drink or don't. What underage kid wants a fake white russian? No kid likes Kahluah.

Misguidied target marketing is about as good as a condom pack that includes a hole-punch.