YAK BALLZ
interview byErin
As a preface, I'd just like to say that you should all fast forward about half way through the interview and notice that Yak has told me I can be a Persian Princess. If you need me for anything, I'll be sitting in the tower of my castle with my pet tiger mew mew and my unicorn listening to GG Allin on full volume.
Yak, a Queens native, has a new album to be released on Flo Spot records this spring called 'Scifentology II; The Elephant Ron Hubbard Stories'. Keep your ears open and be sure to pick that up when it comes out.
Now, "getting to business" (which really is the fact that I'm now a princess but, some may call it the interview) we can continue with the questions that yet again, this person is probably not surprised by, because he knows me.
I think need to interview people who don't know me for more shock value.
Annnnnnd, go:
Erin - Do you hate sharing a seat in the van with me?
Yak - Well if yes means no and no means yes then yes. Ironic how this tour is called I Hate It no? In a perfect world I would have a lot more room I think. I'm kidding.
Erin - after experiencing the corner seat, I've decided i completely hate it and never want to sit here again.
Erin - What do you have coming up for you in 2007?
Yak - I have a record called Scifentology II; The Elephant Ron Hubbard Stories coming out May 14th on Flospot Records. I'm not a Scientologist.
Erin - Tell me in detail what the first 7 days of tour have been like for you sans your computer charger.
Yak - My laptop is has been dead for days and will continue to be until I get my adaptor at the next venue. I'll be back in business when we arrive in Gainesville today if the 2 day Priority Mail Gods are pulling for me. Tour has been a plethora of text messages, coffee, finding 5 and 10 dollars, knives, cheap wine, sweet aromas, and classic wrestling signature moves. My personal favorite is the Sharpshooter by Brett Hart. RIP Bam Bam Biggolo.
Erin - What's your take on this new iPhone business? Do you think you'll betray your precious sidekick 3 for the new iPhone?
Yak - Thats a tough one. A Mac phone? pshhh; Sounds amazing. But in all honesty T-mobile has me in a million dollar dream a la The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiasi. I'm just skeptical and I heard Cingular sucks.
Erin - If you were an animal, which one would you be. Choose furry animals only. (Just special for you, I'll count porcupines.)
Yak - Can I be a Duckbill Platypus? Those things are awsome. Maybe a chinchilla so I can say I'm chinchillin when someone asks whats up. They are really dope. I had a friend who had one but he kept getting it high and it died. I don't wanna die and be made into a coat for some asshole.
Erin - I never would have called you a Duckbill Platypus but if that's what you want Yak, you can have it.
Erin - Will you make me the princess of Persia?
Yak - Whatever you want Erin.
Erin - How bout get me a pony? I haven't had very good luck in my conquest to get a pony.
Yak - I'm working on it. Krazy Glue is TMing that one as we speak. I got you on your next coffee though. <italics>(erin - for those of you who aren't privy to this information, Glue is our tour manager as well as the house DJ - thus making tm-ing = tour managing)<italics end>
Erin - Describe the Teen Wolf tour in 5 words or less.
Yak - Love, Hate, Zanzibar
Erin - The next time you're playing a show in Toronto, will you put my mother on the guest list?
Yak - I will put your mom on plus 20 if she comes through with that canadian bacon for the fam. hahaha that was so stupid.
Erin - Do you know who Shepard Fairey is?
Yak - Only one of my favorite contemporary artists of all time. His new book is extremely inspiring.
Erin - Someone once told me that Queens smells like indian curry around 5 pm every night, do you agree with that statement being from Queens?
Yak - Who told you that? Maybe in certain areas. Truthfully if Queens smelled like dog shit at 5 pm everyday I would still love it.
Erin - Name your top 3 favorite bands of all time.
Yak - 1. Glassjaw
2. At the Drive In
3. The Juliana Theory
Erin - If Yak Ballz t.v were a special order station on Live TV Tivo or On Demand, how many people do you think would special order it and how much would it cost?
Yak - I think Yak Ballz TV would be free to everyone although I may charge a very small amount to cover expenses and keep me alive. I would want it to go down as one of the best public access shows of all time. I think anyone who loves anything Weathermen and Cardboard City would tune in and never tune out. That would make up for less than 1% of the entire earth's population. I can't say exactly how many viewers it would have but I do know that whoever hates it is entitled to but it was never made for them anyway.
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To learn more about Prince Yak Ballz, you can look him up on myspace at : myspace.com/yakballz or google of course or head's up Vegas, Detroit and possibly "I'll sleep when you're dead" (if you don't get the reference, google that too) because he will probably be crossing your path's soon.
- Zee End -
