Scarlet Grey
interview by annaliese
"What the hell does Scarlet Grey mean? I mean, I just don't get it. is that like yellow blue? Do you guys know those kids?" -Davey Havok
Last night I spoke to Rick from Scarlet Grey via instant messenger. It's the only way that we can speak to each other because we used to date and Rick dumped me and that means that my ability to be civil with him is limited to short, scattered chats on the interweb. In addition to being one of the few people on earth to ever take dirty pictures of me Rick was responsible for this pain-in-the-ass site being called GodsGirls. He also designed our logo in between drinking all of my alcohol and causing my financial hardship.
Rick's hobbies include small to medium sized boobs, alcoholism, stepping on grapes with his feet, showing off his balls at parties, Jesus Christ and playing drums in a band comprised of kids who are all way better people than he. Scarlet Grey has a self-released album out as of approximately 35 minutes ago and in the interest of keeping the music industry evil and keeping Rick in 40 ouncers of Mickey's we at GodsGirls.com highly suggest that you purchase one of the 1000 copies that are up for grabs. Some of them probably smell like rotten alcohol because Rick Robbins personally shrink-wrapped them.
Anyhow, you will learn more about Rick and his antics later in this bit when I include a conversation that is too riddled with inside jokes for you to understand. For now I'll work on telling you what I know about Scarlet Grey. I first started going to see Scarlet Grey perform when I first started dating Rick because that is the obligatory thing to do when some cute guy who you spend time with is in a band. Surprisingly, they didn't suck. After maybe the third show I was totally in love with them. I loved Scarlet Grey more than I loved Rick. Seriously. I think at that point they were actually called the Manatee Band. Doesn't that make you love them too? If it doesn't then you are going to Hell with Rick and I am going to heaven with the nice guys who are in his band.
I can't stay on topic. The Manatee Band became Scarlet Grey and they got a big time record deal and everyone was really excited because they sounded great, their live shows are incredibly fun and they all deserved it. Some time later they realized that the music industry is filled with people who are not always as nice as the guys in their band and that brings us to this self-released record. You should buy it. Rick needs a new fan and Ben needs to take his super hot girlfriend to get an ice cream cone.
Here is a pointless conversation that I had tonight with Rick. There is a good chance that you will have a similar feeling of love mixed with hate for him as I do after you are finished reading it but please do not let that effect your decision to check out this band. Just remember what I said earlier - all of the other guys in Scarlet Grey are really good dudes.
ricker: call sluts
annaliese nielsen: congratulations on your new cd
ricker: that's too good
annaliese nielsen:
ricker: buy it 1,000 times
ricker: with gavins credit card
annaliese nielsen: thats greedy
annaliese nielsen: then no one else will have one
ricker: but i'll have ten grand!!!!!
annaliese nielsen: let's make this conversation into an interview and i will post in on godsgirls and someone else will buy them all.
ricker: ok
annaliese nielsen: hahahaha
annaliese nielsen: when you said "call sluts" you weren't referring to the godsgirls were you?
ricker: no never
annaliese nielsen: what do you think of the fact that i have slaves coming over to clean my house and i dont usually even know their names?
ricker: i think you've been reading my diary
annaliese nielsen: considering that i havent even seen you in like a year i dont even know how that's possible
annaliese nielsen: can you tell us what a godsgirl is?
annaliese nielsen: since it was your idea for me to name my stupid site that
ricker: well
ricker: i never knew one
ricker: but i never had to
ricker: and i always saved one
ricker: but i never never never gave into one
annaliese nielsen: will you clean my room for me?
annaliese nielsen: cricket spilled an ashtray on the floor. you taught him well.
ricker: we talk still
annaliese nielsen: when scarlet grey covers rhianna- umbrella can i do chris brown's part with the cinderella bit?
3:05 AM
ricker: yes but it has to be on youtube and you have to be in your underwear
ricker: or a green fairy outfit
annaliese nielsen: i'm always on youtube and i'm usually in my underwear in the videos but no one knows because you can only see me from the boobz up
ricker: WHAT BOOBZ!!!!!!!!!!
annaliese nielsen: i have some boobs
annaliese nielsen: two
ricker: infinity?
annaliese nielsen: the most ever
annaliese nielsen: infinity yeah
annaliese nielsen: "there's like infinity"
ricker: do you remember getting arrested and thinking showing your panties to the cops would get us out of it?
ricker: and it working?
annaliese nielsen: hahahahahaha
annaliese nielsen: wow
annaliese nielsen: if we would have gotten married and managed to live long enough to procreate we would have had great stories to tell the kids
ricker: our children would be born in prison
annaliese nielsen: but-- the real reason that we got out of it is because you are a dirty jesuit and jesus shined his light on you
annaliese nielsen: hahaha so true
annaliese nielsen: quit ruining my interview.
ricker: basically i thought the name godsgirls would be great because it's the last thing a porn site should ever be called
ricker: but at the same time it's true.
annaliese nielsen: give us 5 reasons why we should buy your new cd besides the fact that you want money for wine.
ricker: 1. i have $300 to my name
ricker: 2. pete drives a shitty car
ricker: 3. its better than the bronx
ricker: 4. we used to have sex all the time
ricker: 5. i will do a 1,000 picture set of my balls
annaliese nielsen: hahahaha
annaliese nielsen: are they huge?
ricker: so huge
ricker: inhuman
ricker: unhuman
ricker: die
annaliese nielsen: maybe something is wrong with you.
annaliese nielsen: what is the best city in orange county to have an orgy with strangers?
ricker: laguna beach baby
ricker: at least 2 strangers
ricker: one accomplice
ricker: two balls
annaliese nielsen: a plethora of vaginas
ricker: yessssss
annaliese nielsen: and one teddy bear.
3:15 AM
ricker: a big one
annaliese nielsen: bigger than your balls
ricker: way bigger
annaliese nielsen: which is the best flavor of vitamin water?
ricker: burgundy
annaliese nielsen: when was the last time you drank water?
ricker: a thousand
annaliese nielsen: perfect.
annaliese nielsen: what are you listening to right now besides your own band and gwen stefani?
ricker: a fan
ricker: a ringing in my right ear
ricker: and davey havok singing house music
annaliese nielsen: davey havok is the nicest person ever. he came and met us last night and some fancy bar and remincesed (i cant spell that) about when rdub stepped on cricket in my living room.
ricker: yeah he broke his tail
ricker: and i saved him
annaliese nielsen: who is the better corey?
annaliese nielsen: feldman or haim?
ricker: feldy
annaliese nielsen: cricket wont sleep anywhere besides on my boobs or on this really expensive chair that my dad got me.
annaliese nielsen: do you want him?
3:20 AM
ricker: yes
ricker: in a cut roll
annaliese nielsen: =(
ricker: jk
ricker: if he cooks and cleans my room
annaliese nielsen: i can send a houseboy over to do that for free.
annaliese nielsen: i have like infinity of them
annaliese nielsen: some wear lingerie...
ricker: what about stoya
ricker: when are movie nights going to be in 3d
annaliese nielsen: stoya kicks guys hard for money. she isnt going to clean your room.
annaliese nielsen: maybe movie nights will be in 3d when our camera dudes can hold it steady enough for us to get a worthwhile shot.
ricker: i heard from your editor that i was a cinematic genius
annaliese nielsen: one that you shot just went up
ricker: i know i love it
ricker: i sent it to my parents
annaliese nielsen: that's a lie.
ricker: a bloody woman with a crucifix
annaliese nielsen: LMU tuition was wasted on you and now you are disowned
ricker: i like to kiss jesus
annaliese nielsen: on the mouth?
ricker: mhm
annaliese nielsen: does he like it too?
ricker: no
annaliese nielsen: well that's nice of him to let you anyway i guess
ricker: he has to
annaliese nielsen: name 10 godsgirls that you would show your balls to
3:25 AM
ricker: christian ashley and her 9 sisters
annaliese nielsen: hot christian ashley isn't even a godsgirl
annaliese nielsen: you are the worst at this
ricker: all the skinny ones with medium boobs
ricker: divided by whatever multiple of 10
annaliese nielsen: did you see Maureen's DIY set that just went up?
annaliese nielsen: she is skinny with medium boobs and i want to smell her hair
ricker: her boobs are medium to big
ricker: DIY sets are scandalous
annaliese nielsen: yeah they totally are
annaliese nielsen: homemade porn is really hot i think
annaliese nielsen: some of the girls sneak and shoot the sets while their parents are sleeping
annaliese nielsen: no joke
ricker: all the cool people are going to hell anyways
3:30 AM
annaliese nielsen: ben's girlfriend is supremely hot.
annaliese nielsen: i will buy all of the scarlet grey cds if she will be my new bff
annaliese nielsen: did you hear that 50 cent is going to retire if kanye outsells him?
ricker: my subscription to the source expired
annaliese nielsen: i read it on perezhilton
annaliese nielsen: i thought you were avidly following celebrity gossip?
annaliese nielsen: i am really disappointed in you
ricker: only when theres tits
annaliese nielsen: godsgirls is for tits dummy
ricker: is 50 cent a godsgirl
ricker: i want to see him on movie night
annaliese nielsen: yes and soon we will have our own flavor of vitamin water
3:35 AM
ricker: scarlet grape
annaliese nielsen: scarlet gape
ricker: scarlet rape
ricker: EW
annaliese nielsen: who would win in a fight? amy winehouse or posh spice?
annaliese nielsen: i want to see posh spice get naked.
annaliese nielsen: she's a godsgirl too
ricker: amy winehouse would win because she has the best last name
ricker: and i want to live there
ricker: and posh spice is an idiot
ricker: and all women are god's girls
annaliese nielsen: that's really diplomatic of you, rick.
ricker: i am a man of the people
annaliese nielsen: you're a man made of fermented grapes.
annaliese nielsen: can you put erin's mom on the list if your band ever tours canada?
annaliese nielsen: erin has medium boobs.
ricker: yes
ricker: and YSE
ricker: hahahaha
ricker: i meant
ricker: YES
annaliese nielsen: what do you think of canada in general?
ricker: leaves
ricker: large
ricker: cold
ricker: cheap medicine
annaliese nielsen: canada sucks.
annaliese nielsen: chelsea boycotts canadians.
ricker: does she want to fight
annaliese nielsen: chelsea has size large boobs.
annaliese nielsen: and a staph infection.
ricker: does she have a million dollars and a lexus
ricker: and a thirst for balls
annaliese nielsen: no she has a saturn
ricker: damnit
ricker: i have an isuzue
annaliese nielsen: i think she has a thirst for a deep manly dicking from dudes freshly released from prison
ricker: damn
annaliese nielsen: and/or anyone who has ever performed on stage with willie nelson.
3:45 AM
ricker: does she like willie
annaliese nielsen: yes. she just got a tattoo of him.
ricker: someone needs to get a tattoo of me
annaliese nielsen: i am getting a tattoo of a steak with my friend tomas' name on it
ricker: a $500 steak?
annaliese nielsen: he's really hungry
annaliese nielsen: steak from Taste and a bottle of wine and then a bottle of really expensive scotch and then like 8 40s of mickeys.
annaliese nielsen: and then gwen stefani and too fast too furious
annaliese nielsen: and then cops
ricker: that would be a better tattoo
annaliese nielsen: and then blood
annaliese nielsen: and spilled ashtrays
annaliese nielsen: and injuries
ricker: i was only trying to touch your butthole
ricker: that doesn't have to go in print
3:50 AM
ricker: unless you are that awesome
annaliese nielsen: hahahahaa
annaliese nielsen: i am totally leaving that in
annaliese nielsen: when your band is super famous you will be like "that conversation was altered by ms. nielsen"
ricker: mhm
ricker: it was
annaliese nielsen: send me rocco siffredi porn
annaliese nielsen: and johnny pastrami
ricker: omggg
ricker: meatwhich
annaliese nielsen: there are some good places to eat where you live
annaliese nielsen: with the white people
annaliese nielsen: i went to the apple pan
ricker: whoa
ricker: tell me this
ricker: should i open a bottle of black label or not
annaliese nielsen: of course
annaliese nielsen: especially since your cd is out
annaliese nielsen: and its called Black
annaliese nielsen: dont be dumb
ricker: WHOA
ricker: what if i get in trouble for giving lewd interviews
annaliese nielsen: you probably will
annaliese nielsen: where's my flyer?
ricker: on my computer
annaliese nielsen: when can i see it?
ricker: in a million years sucker
annaliese nielsen: thats infinity
annaliese nielsen: and tears will come out
ricker: remember when you took me on a date
ricker: and i drank underage
annaliese nielsen: yeah
ricker: you are bad
annaliese nielsen: at Taste
annaliese nielsen: i actually am really good
annaliese nielsen: you were a bad influence on me
annaliese nielsen: that's why i dumped you
ricker: muahaha
annaliese nielsen: hahahaha
ricker: i miss your sweet sweet scotch
ricker: and mexican chainsaws in the morning
ricker: and, also, the transvestite burrito stand
annaliese nielsen: hahahahaha
annaliese nielsen: now i live with for real infinity beaners but it's so quiet and the taco stand only has mexicans and hipsters.
annaliese nielsen: i went to a sex addicts meeting and everyone was talking about picking up trannies
annaliese nielsen: and i thought of benitos
ricker: hhahaha
ricker: why did i never think of that
ricker: ANNALIESE
ricker: THE INTERVIEW IS SPLITTING IN HALF
ricker: annnnnd its back
ricker: do you like to focus your eyes
ricker: when i look at gods girls dot com i usually see four boobies instead of just two
ricker: alcoholism is healthy, and in style.
annaliese nielsen: i have really good vision
ricker: readers, take note
annaliese nielsen: your eyes are permanently bloodshot
annaliese nielsen: because you never take out your contacts
annaliese nielsen: and you smoke the pot
annaliese nielsen: and don't sleep enough
ricker: soooooooooo
ricker: they are angel car accidents in my head
ricker: angels bleed wine
ricker: the bible rules
ricker: is this the worst promo for a CD ever
annaliese nielsen: yeah it really is
annaliese nielsen: i hope that all of your records sell.
annaliese nielsen: what is an angel car accident?
ricker: angels drink heavily
ricker: how boring is being alive forever?
annaliese nielsen: like life-after-death alive or alive on earth?
ricker: life after death
ricker: what do you do all day
ricker: golf
ricker: read
ricker: shave
annaliese nielsen: you fuck 400 virgins with breasts of various sizes
annaliese nielsen: duh.
annaliese nielsen: you fail at heaven
ricker: thats what you do in your late teens
annaliese nielsen: especially if you're in a band!
ricker: band guys are gross
annaliese nielsen: double especially if you can play wonderwall or everlong on your acoustic guitar
ricker: ooohh
ricker: dually noted
annaliese nielsen: triple especially if you get drunk and hold girls down and sing them 3rd eye blind songs
ricker: third eye blind is underrated
annaliese nielsen: are you still a bedroom house music producer?
annaliese nielsen: does that ruin your post-punk cred?
ricker: i enjoy the occasional beep and boop
ricker: and i dont really care about the post punk scene
ricker: thats probably why we write hooky pop punky songs
ricker: because they are good
ricker: and i dont think anyone in our band is really caught up in the "scene"
ricker: hurr hurr durrrr durrrrr
annaliese nielsen: except for ben
annaliese nielsen: who is totally out of control
annaliese nielsen: is he in AA yet/
annaliese nielsen: ?
ricker: ben is cute, you can't get mad at him
ricker: he will be
ricker: once he cracks
annaliese nielsen: no he wont because paisley is an angel and she will save him
ricker: yeah
ricker: paisley is cute too
ricker: they enjoy microbrew sodas together
annaliese nielsen: hahahahaha
annaliese nielsen: with innocent flavors
annaliese nielsen: like lavendar
ricker: yes
ricker: ben secretly wishes he could party by himself in his room all night, laughing hysterically
ricker: ........
ricker: ..........
ricker: yeah not at all
annaliese nielsen: i'm sure he knows the perfect go to man if he ever decides to get into that.
4:15 AM
ricker: our lord and savior
ricker: fagatron
annaliese nielsen: you aren't making sense anymore
annaliese nielsen: this will probably go up tomorrow
annaliese nielsen: i am going to put awesome pictures of you on it
ricker: hhahaha
ricker: that is awesome
ricker: you are such an asshole
ricker: should i answer serious questions
ricker: ready go
annaliese nielsen: like what?
annaliese nielsen: do you want to ask me anything?
annaliese nielsen: "can you tell us about your music influences rick? any drummers that really inspire you?"
ricker: what did YOU like about the name gods' girls.
annaliese nielsen: same thing-- the blasphemy of it
annaliese nielsen: the fantasies i was having about the "you are all going to hell" emails
annaliese nielsen: fantasies come true
ricker: haha! perfect
annaliese nielsen: "what the hell does scarlet grey mean? i mean-- i just don't get it. is that like yellow blue? do you guys know those kids?" -davey havok
ricker: hahaha
ricker: "it just doesnt make any sense"
ricker: well i believe that thought was conjured up while he was peeing
ricker: so i guess i just think it's funny that davey havok thought of us while he was taking a piss
ricker: scarlet grey is a woman's name (as i'm sure you know)
ricker: but
ricker: but other than that
ricker: its just something to think about while peeing
annaliese nielsen: did you guys give your band a girls name to balance out the fact that there are a lot of balls in your band?
ricker: well having 8 balls in the band does have its effect on our songwriting
ricker: we like to write songs for 15 year old, horribly pierced teens from all of the red states
ricker: so sometimes we tuck our balls inside and see how high we can sing the lead and backup vocals
ricker: and about how much it sucked not being able to go out on week nights
annaliese nielsen: are you singing on this record too?
ricker: oh yes
ricker: we all are
ricker: i'm way back in the mix
ricker: mostly because danny is an asshole
annaliese nielsen: are you going to get a head set like phil collins?
ricker: ya know, i've thought about it
ricker: the mic off to the side kinda works
ricker: the closest i've come to that is wearing and eye patch during a pirate's song
ricker: anything on your head while playing drums is kind of distracting
annaliese nielsen: i had to wear an eyepatch once irl
ricker: and wearing a headset i'd kinda feel like britney spears
annaliese nielsen: because i cut my own eye
ricker: haha me too
annaliese nielsen: with my own finger nail
ricker: HAHA me too
ricker: i didnt take my contacts out =|
annaliese nielsen: while walking into a starbucks
ricker: this is why we are kindred spirits
annaliese nielsen: do i flail wildly while i walk?
ricker: not really
ricker: do i?
annaliese nielsen: nope
annaliese nielsen: say something clever in closing
ricker: here's the record in five seconds: we have been working on it for about a year and a half. some of the recordings cost a very pretty penny and were done in the best studios in los angeles. some of the songs were recorded and programmed by danny (our guitar player, the genius) for free, in the comfort of our bedrooms or practice spaces or whatever. most of the tracks, solos, ideas, vocals, lyrics, beats, are all spur of the moment events, a sort of "lightning in a bottle" captured moment that we snagged and built off of. we thought instead of waiting for a record label to take our profits and tell us this or that we would just put it out ourselves, untouched and pure. the record is, in a way, a compilation of all of the work we've done since "forgot me was me" (which was a poem title of yours of course). so go buy it. we shrink wrapped and hand numbered them all ourselves in my house. and god, was it hard. and god, am i hard. 67 pages of galleries. goodnight babies <3
annaliese nielsen: hahahahaha
annaliese nielsen: i really do feel something like love for you sometimes
ricker: ditto
Good thing Rick is here to basically write my article for me.
Find scarlet grey and make them your friend at www.myspace.com/scarletgrey
Support independent music that doesn't suck or isn't too hard for you to understand at http://scarletgrey.bigcartel.com/product/limited-black-pre-order
