NORTHSIDEKINGS
interview by chelsea (& swindle)
The first time I met Danny from the NorthSideKings was at 9 in the morning at some swanky furniture shop that is evidently his family business. I was there because I was drunk, I think I had taken a xanax to sleep, my best friend kept waking me up, and we had nothing better to do than to drive 40 minutes to see some dude who is supposedly awesome at a furniture store. Long story short, I was left in the office alone while they went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when we left a bunch of stuff was missing, like cash, a digital camera, and possibly a firearm. Danny of course, thought I had stolen stuff, and basically threatened me with a pack of angry roller derby chicks (eek). Later on he found out the real culprit was an employee of his, who saw my being there a shining opportunity to get away with stealing some swag and placing the blame on someone else. Now I'm doing an interview with Danny. I got Swindle to help, because Swindle is really nice and no one would ever threaten to kill her. I figured that even though Danny claims to be my BFF now, adding a little bit of sugar (like our friend Swindle) to the equation couldn't hurt. Here is Danny talking about Punching Danzig, Dinosaurs, Waffle Jams, and being a d00d. Check out his website www.icansmellyourbrains.com if you like stuff that's cool. if you hate awesome things, then you should probably just stick to myspace. Heeerre we go!
xo
Chelsea
Swindle: Everyone always says, “Describe your band in three words.” I'm a bit more impatient than that. I want two words. Hyphenated words not in the English dictionary most definitely count.
Danny - Well, I am gonna steal some shit from Carl on Aqua Teen Hunger Force by saying, “Sweet Nectar!” Now stand and deliver!
Chelsea: I'm just going to cut to the chase: why did you punch Danzig?
Danny - Cause he is a douchebag who thinks the world oughta suck his dick cause he played in a good band 25 fucking years ago! Seriously, if you were a guy would you allow yourself to get pushed around by a Juiced Up “Frodo” wearing a fishnet half shirt? I hope he gets cancer of the balls.
Swindle: So you guys have your fourth album due out in June, with a vinyl version coming out next month. What was your favorite part about putting this one out?
Danny - Well what's pretty cool is that the vinyl and the cd versions are different from each other. We recorded enough songs to mix up both releases of the same record. We even busted a few covers like Joan Jett's Bad Reputation and Anthrax's Among the Living which I am excited about. My favorite part is the writing/recording. I work well under pressure and wrote the record in a little over a month. Sounds crazy, I know, but that's how this nigga rolls! haha
Chelsea: I thought there were 20 eyes in his head? Didn't he see you coming?
Danny - Those 20 eyes got blurred real quick. I don't think he expected me to hit him back? Maybe he thought I was scared or something, who knows. Or maybe he thought the security guards would end up breaking a shouting match. I can shout like a muthafucker but I just reacted fast before he got the chance to do it again. That herb is a black belt, I wasn't about to hesitate. I have a black belt to but I didn't earn mine, I bought it at Target.
Swindle: You claim that Waffle Houses, or more specifically, Waffle House sing-a-longs are a favorite of yours. Do we get to hear any of these amazingly catchy tunes on this any upcoming works? North Side King's “Hardcore Waffle Jams”?
Danny - Fuck yea! Their jukebox is full of songs about the Waffle House such as, “844,739 ways to eat a hamburger” or “There are Raisins in my Toast.” You can order the cd from their website. Its amazing how pissed off those ladies working the counter get when you dumb $20 in and play those classic tracks from 1984. One day we may record Mary Welch Rogers' hit single, “Waffle House Thank You.” That place is an American touring band institution!
Chelsea: One time you threatened my life. Do you want to address that?
Danny - I did, I did. But I did apologize. As a matter of fact you are probably one of the very few I have ever apologized to. I'm the type to go to my grave without saying sorry for an unjust homicide! So, take the sorry as a major compliment cause it truthfully was! And don't tell anyone I broke my stubborn streak!
Swindle: Credited as “Phoenix's most notorious bunch of assholes,” what is the most asshole-ish thing you as a collective group have done?
Danny - On tour shit gets off the chain. I guess rolling with the same dudes for a while just gets boring so you need some excitement to mix it up. We love stealing food and beer from other bands, sounds fucked up but you just gotta be there! For the most part, we are assholes cause we are like a group of kids that will just play fucked up jokes that sometimes go to far. Like putting a bands van up on blocks while they are inside playing!
Chelsea: Unicorn or Pegasus?
Danny - You didn't specify whether they were grilled or roasted? Unicorn is a little lean to me so I would say Pegasus!
Swindle: What do you feel is the greatest downfall or disappointment in today's hardcore scene?
Danny - How weak and PC it has gotten. It sickens me to see these guys looking like heroin addicts wearing girls clothing and worrying about being fashion statement. I also blame the girls out there fucking these sallys. I am a man. I don't make out with other guys at shows nor do I wear eye liner. I'm grimy, I drink beer, I laugh at racial slurs, and I don't shave everyday. I'm bringing sexy back, haha. But seriously, its not the music that makes a hardcore band, it's the message and the life you live. Get out of your sisters closet and be yourself.
Chelsea: What's so good about Phoenix?
Danny - You know the answer to that one young lady, it's the sunshine! Always a clear day here! The sunshine helps you live with a good aura instead of being cloudy and rainy. That shit brings the doom and gloom. This place keeps my blood pressure at a normal level! I have been swimming in the pool and BBQing for a month already!
Swindle: You guys have had the ability to tour with a lot of amazing bands, ranging from Comeback Kid, to Terror, to Madball, to The Dropkick Murphy's. Which tour was the most ridiculously wicked awesome for you guys to be a part of?
Danny - Soulfly was the best tour ever. Every night we were treated like rockstars and we ate it up. Being on the road and having your guarantee pay met through an entire tour was a first for us! Plus food, booze, hotels, it was amazing. There was no struggle for six weeks. We didn't have to eat potato chip sandwiches and sleep in the van. That alone was amazing. Touring is hard, I have a lot of respect for bands that constantly do it at the regular level, its hard and you gotta be some straight up road warriors to handle it. We are not cut out for it!
Chelsea: If you were any kind of dinosaur, what would it be?
Danny - I am already a dinosaur! I go see bands here and there and I feel like the oldest dude there, and I am only thirty! But literally, probably a T rex, something that just demolishes and devours everything smaller than me!
Swindle: Tell me a little about the makings of your new side project site www.icansmellyourbrains.com
Danny - It's my baby, my girlfriend, actually my wife. I have wanted to do this for a number of years. I am a movie fanatic, no doubt. My buddy Brandon and I got the bug cause we were tired of looking at the same shit on every horror site over and over. We wanted to introduce people to more stuff than just the same news and we figured there were more people out there with the same interests. Its fun and meant to be taken with a smile. I do a lot with the blaxploitation and exploitation films, Brandon does more with horror, but we are total nerds for that shit. Plus we interview musicians about horror, like I did Rollins (it's not up yet) and even Belladonna. News, funny articles, a message board, and more movie trailers than you could ever imagine. We have a big selection of that stuff! There will be a store up soon too with some wild shit, trust me!
Chelsea: How come NSK songs always have lyrics reminding the listener that you are, in fact, the North Side Kings? Are you the gangster rap of hardcore?
Danny - You wise ass! I listen to a lot of hip hop, probably more than anything else. I guess its all that Slaine, KRS –One, and Necro records coming out in my writing! Besides it's good to remind people, I wouldn't want them to think they were hearing the new single by Steven Seagal and His Band Thunderbox!
Swindle: Name your top three B-movie horror flicks.
Danny - That's hard cause I dig so many flicks! I would say Terror Firmer, Brain Damage, and Street Trash make my top three B list!
Chelsea: If you could wine and dine one GodsGirl, who would it be?
Danny - You probably forgot but I did ask you out at jugheads, and then got a broken orbital bone in a bar fight by a beer bottle the very next day! Then you moved away a week later and my heart has broken ever since! I gotta admit though I have fantasized about Swindle and Dalia a few times here and there! I AM TOTALLY BLUSHING RIGHT NOW AT WORK!
Swindle: Alright, so we all can tell that you guys are big tough manly men. So what's your favorite part about being a dude? And references to playing with your pecker or with broad's tatas are off limits and don't count as they are a given.
Danny - You took the words right outta my mouth, damn! Well, if I was a girl I'd be a total lesbian, so I am glad I am a dude! Plus, come on; I would have made an ugly lady! Now if I could just find a girl who doesn't think having a framed poster of Fulci's Zombie in my kitchen isn't weird! In all honesty that monthly thing would bum me out.
Chelsea: What was the most humbling moment of your life?
Danny - This one time at band camp… haha. A few weeks ago I was babysitting my friends kids cause their babysitter flaked last minute. One of the kids Emma is my goddaughter. It was a Saturday night and we are all watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Anyways, Emma and I both fell asleep and she was sitting on my lap. I woke when my friends came home and felt damp! She totally peed on me! I adore those two rugrats though; it made me laugh a lot.
Swindle: What's your take on us lovely ladies revealing our naughty bits for you and other beloved persons to see on the Internet?
Danny - I love it. Gods Girls is the best site of its kind. The ratio of hot ladies on Gods Girls is much higher than any of the other sites out there. You should make some shirts that say, “I Wanna Date a Gods Girl.” You'd be buying a yacht in no time! Dudes would be buying those for days. Just remember who threw you that amazing idea!
Chelsea: Would you rather lose your left arm or your left testicle?
Danny - I can still take care of business without a testicle, so I would have to choose loosing a nut! Besides, with a fake nut it will give me an excuse to pull my pants down when I get drunk!! I would still have more balls than 95% of the guys out there anyways!
Swindle: If you had to choose between smelling like three day old Philly cheese steak or wearing the froufiest (yes, it's a word) women's perfume for the rest of your life, which would it be?
Danny - Cheese Steak, of course! I once had this goomad I was seeing that told me my bed smelled like sausage and peepers. So yea, cheese steaks is ok in my book. By the way, “froufiest” is not a word in the American Heritage College Dictionary! I looked! What kind of shit you trying to pull!
Chelsea: Is it ok for boys to like the color pink?
Danny - Depends on which pink your talking about! (You asked for it!)
Swindle: Where do you see the North Side Kings in five years?
Danny - Modeling for your new website called Gods Dudes. Regular guys like me, cooking on a grill in nothing but an apron licking a spare rib. I'm all about it. I really appreciate you asking me to be the first model. My shoot should be done by the end of the summer :)
:: myspace.com/northsidekings ::
:: www.northsidekings.net ::
